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Author Archives: Lise Breakey

About Lise Breakey

In the early days, sightings were rare and never verified. The footprints could have been those of any four-year-old child with seven toes on each foot. The gnawed and scattered bones were blamed on hyenas that escaped from the Syracuse Zoo and then returned to their cages each morning with no one ever noticing. Even her own mother was not certain she existed. Her father, however, was convinced there was something lurking in the basement, and when he disappeared without a trace in 1969, no one was really surprised. By the time Lise was nine, several blurry photographs had been taken, catching her in the act of bringing down a Ford Mustang with her bare hands, hammering a stake through the heart of a Wal-Mart, and diving to the bottom of a mirror with a satchel full of depth charges. When she was eleven, a number of children came forward to claim that she was their imaginary friend who taught them how to skin a Chesterfield sofa, disembowel a toilet, and survive for months on nothing but toejam and navel lint. At 17, Lise realized the unfortunate truth: that the wild cities were becoming tame and there was no longer any place for creatures such as herself. Rather than be dragged into the spotlight, she emerged from her hiding place on the 13th floor of every building that had no 13th floor and announced that she was no longer quantum. Since that day, the world has marveled at her accomplishments. Lise has become America's most beautiful left-handed sewage worker. She invented the traffic sign that reads “Resume Being Unprepared To Stop.” Renowned for her fearlessness, she does, in fact, simply walk into Mordor on a regular basis. She now appears daily in the commercials that sponsor your dreams of conquering and enslaving humanity.


It’s been said that civilization is founded upon its causalities; that progress marches on – over a bridge of corpses. Civilized humanity was bred for obedience, but every breeding project has its rejects. Ismailia is the place where they all end up. It works like this: when a boy is to become a man and … Continue reading »

Categories: Fiction, Flash, Locale exercise, Writing | Leave a comment

Peter Beagle Critique at BayCon 2010, Side A

“…a couple of good teachers in college who were able to affect my work, were able to make suggestions, were able to tell me ‘you really ought to abandon this one… it’s not salvageable,’ were somehow able to do it without ripping my guts out. They were brilliant at it. I still have every paper … Continue reading »

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Towel Theory

In honor of Towel Day (okay, it was yesterday), please try this simple exercise. If you know enough about a character to write him or her convincingly, you can answer the question posed by Douglas Adams: Does he know where his towel is? Examples: Peter does not know where his towel is. Nikki tries to … Continue reading »

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