Writing
Bad Kissingen
Bad Kissingen originated as a small German seaside resort town on the North Sea, where a tiny geothermal vent pressed up through the narrow crust, producing hot springs with a far higher than typical sulfur content. Hence the name–in the marginal dialect of Lower Middle Flendish, “kissen” means “to break wind.” (It is a little … Continue reading
Owner’s Manual
Congratulations on your purchase! We, the entire staff here at Amalgamated Corporation, believe your new XP will deliver years of ecstasy, akin to continuous ingestion of the popular psychoactive drug “ecstasy.” We’re proud to offer the XP in PC-Compatible, Lemon-Lime, Tutti-Frutti, and, responding to popular demand, embedded inside an impenetrable Plexiglas cube. Whichever version you … Continue reading
“Good Ambiguity” and “Bad Ambiguity”
Christopher Nolan gave an interview in Wired where he touched on the issue of ambiguity in fiction (http://www.wired.com/magazine/2010/11/pl_inception_nolan/). He said: “I’ve always believed that if you make a film with ambiguity, it needs to be based on a sincere interpretation. If it’s not, then it will contradict itself, or it will be somehow insubstantial and end … Continue reading
The Tattoo Movie Review
If you’re like me and most people I know, the first question you ask when you hear about a new movie is, “Will there be any good tats in it?” While classics like “Red Dragon” and “Reign of Fire” don’t come along every day, it is still possible to find good tattoos in movies on … Continue reading
Shattered: The Shattering True Story
San Diego, 2010. I’m waking up. I feel like someone poured the leftover milk from a bowl of Count Chocula over my brain and then it hardened. And maybe the guy who was eating it didn’t really like Count Chocula that much, because there is still a lot of cereal floating in the milk. And … Continue reading
Rambunction
Just a little glue. It beads along the fracture and I carefully daub off the excess with a swab, still paying no mind to the yammering of my boy. He’ll probably blubber and crunch up his fists because I won’t listen. The devil could learn about wickedness from that boy. From spite I don’t look … Continue reading
The Pharaoh’s Revenge!
Michael Dukakis turned with the feline grace of a tightly coiled spring. The shadowy figure on the mezzanine moved through the shadows. The figure wore a burgundy velvet robe with green fur cuffs, a matching fez, mint-condition first-generation Air Jordans, and carried an antique Turkish musket. Keeping the gun trained on Dukakis, he descended the … Continue reading
Mix ‘n’ Match
1) Jayne Mansfield 2) Saddam Hussein 3) Henri Poincaré 4) Edna St. Vincent Millay
Introduction to Cognitive Psychology: An Introduction
When you see this photo, do you think “John F. Kennedy”? That was caused by your brain. People act the way they do because of their brains. For example, when you put your shoes on, do you put your left on first, your right on first, or do you do sometimes one and sometimes the … Continue reading
My Testimony
Where was I on the night of July 23rd? I existed at a continuum of points along a route stretching from Lake Como, Italy, to the Lake Como simulation at the Bellagio Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, aka “Fake Como.” Nobody knew exactly where I was until they observed me, and even then … Continue reading