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Writing

This is where we write things. You might even say it’s this site’s reason for being.

Unter Klaus und Dunkelnacht.

The stone room with your bed is brightly lit and the two doors have heavy bars. The buzzing scent of kerosene cuts through smoke and must. You don’t want to leave the room, but you have a task to do before you can go to bed. Continue reading »

Categories: Fiction, Sort Of | Leave a comment

Sarah Palin is. . . Modesty Blaise

It was a warm day in Washington DC, but Glenn Beck was perfectly comfortable in a dove-gray Ermenegildo Zegna suit, Brooks Brothers shirt, and Pierre Cardin tie as he stepped into the elevator and inserted the key that gave access to the 150th floor of the Vulpine Inc. skyscraper, which afforded sweeping views of the … Continue reading »

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The Zoological Revolution

The field of zoology has recently been turned upside down by the discovery of free will in animals. “It turns out that our previous understanding of animal behavior as being a product of genetic and environmental histories was simplistic and reductionist,” said prominent zoologist Stefan Nichtswisser.  “A science that studied only the chemistry, anatomy, neurology, … Continue reading »

Categories: Fiction, Writing | 2 Comments

Random Thoughts on Star Wars Story-telling

Protagonists If George Lucas is to be believed, all six Star Wars movies comprise a single story: “The Tragedy of Darth Vader.”  Indeed, the addition of three prequel movies substantially devoted to Vader does shift the series’s center of gravity away from Luke.  Apparently, those Luke-Vader duels in Empire and Jedi were not primarily about … Continue reading »

Categories: Analysis and criticism, Non-Fiction | 3 Comments

Writing Made Easy

You are wanting to imitate esteemed writers of the past such as Dean Koontz, Bone Thugs-n-Harmony, or Fritz the Cat, but you don’t know where to start?  Relax now.  Learn from me, your learned elder, how to write the easy way.  I am qualified to teach writing because I am the author of many famous … Continue reading »

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DIY Comedy Kit

Hey Kids!  After college, when we were idealistic Young Turks keen to set the world on fire, our artistic movement failed after a typo caused the Paris Review to publish, rather than our manifesto, our manifest, i.e., a list or invoice of the passengers or goods being carried by a commercial vehicle or ship.  Lacking literary street cred after … Continue reading »

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Ashtabula

I awakened to the artificial voice from the grille overhead saying, “Next stop Ashtabula. Connections to the Great Withern Line and the Ember River.” The light outside was orange and the sun was the color of raw beef as the train pulled into the station. Continue reading »

Categories: Fiction, Flash, Locale exercise, Writing | Leave a comment

Pity Me: The Rough Guide

         No one knows anything about Pity Me because anthropologists refuse to study it.  I mean, who wants to spend three years studying a bunch of whiners?  At grad schools across the country, Pity Me ranks even lower in popularity than its neighboring regions of Nobody Likes Me or Everybody Hates Me.  Budding … Continue reading »

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Flin Flon

The closest thing to the airstrip was the bar. It was named Bar. This far from civilization it was better not to pretend to own anything. Hercules knew Jordan, the owner, but he went in anyway. Continue reading »

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Ismailia

It’s been said that civilization is founded upon its causalities; that progress marches on – over a bridge of corpses. Civilized humanity was bred for obedience, but every breeding project has its rejects. Ismailia is the place where they all end up. It works like this: when a boy is to become a man and … Continue reading »

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